I’ve always wanted a fairytale wedding. As a proud Australian, I never expected it to happen in December 2021, in the deep Swedish midwinter, with a gorgeous Swedish man, Marcus, who looked like Christoph from Frozen. But, thanks to Covid-19, that’s what transpired!
And I have no regrets (apart from missing my family, who were unable to travel from Australia). Nonetheless, I got the big dress, the glitter, the sparkle and, most importantly, the ‘Prince’ and, yes, we are living happily ever after!
I learnt so much during the wedding planning process in Sweden that I want to share all my findings with other newcomers.
There are so many magical things about getting married in Sweden, but also lots of surprises and cultural differences.
Men get engagement rings, too!
The day after Marcus proposed to me, he said we should go to the city to choose his engagement ring. Which was a surprise! Where I’m from, only females are given engagement rings. In Sweden the man also gets an engagement ring and it’s typical for the man and the woman to exchange rings. This is all part of Sweden being a gender-equal society.
Wedding dress shopping
There is just one wedding dress shop in Skellefteå. I always knew what my wedding would look like and the dress was a huge part of that. I wanted a big puffy princess dress with glitter, sparkle, flowers, butterflies, sequins, a long train, pink tones and a criss-cross back. Swedish fashion is quite reserved so I knew this would be hard to find. I ended up designing my own dress and working with an overseas tailor to piece together the dress. My dream dress duly arrived and it was perfect.
There are not many Wedding planners
There are barely any wedding planners in Skellefteå! Be prepared for doing most of the groundwork yourself, so pull in your friends where possible to help. Use your local connections. My make-up artist was a parent at my school, the cake-maker was a fellow international, and the singer was a childhood friend of my husband-to-be Marcus.
Keeping it simple!
Swedish churches are very simple when it comes to weddings. I had made a huge wedding arch and decorated it with flowers, fairy lights, crystals, greenery and satin, perfectly fitting our fairytale theme, but was then told we were not allowed to have it in the church and that any decorations must be minimal. This is something to be aware of, so you don’t spend a lot of time preparing and decorating the church as I did!
Prepare for the weather
This is northern Sweden and you have to be prepared for all sorts of weather. Our wedding was in December, so we had -5c degrees on the day (which is quite mild for the winters here) and the snow had turned to ice.
Thankfully, I wore flats otherwise I would have broken my leg. However, my super long dress train became soggy and covered in ice, but it was all part of the experience, so I’d suggest you bring a second and more comfortable dress for later in the evening when it is time to party!
Don’t be late!
In many countries it is very normal – even traditional – for the bride to arrive 15-30 minutes late at the church. Swedes, however, are known for their punctuality.
So when I arrived 30 minutes late, our vicar was almost having heart failure! I subsequently found out that Swedish churches only allocate one hour for weddings! Make sure you allow for this when planning.
Walking down the aisle
In Sweden, you don’t have fathers walking their daughters down the aisle to give them away for marriage, as is the custom in many English-speaking countries. No way. After all, Sweden is a much more gender-equal society. Instead, in Sweden, prior to the ceremony, it is typical for the bride and groom to walk down the aisle together towards the vicar. However, I wanted the element of surprise and so, when I finally did arrive, I proudly walked myself down the aisle.
No language barrier
It is not usual to write your own vows in Sweden, especially when you get married in a church. But we were lucky to have a fantastic vicar who was fluent in English and brought a super-cool vibe to the wedding (thanks Albin!). The ceremony can be in English, but the legal part of the wedding has to be in Swedish. When I was asked in Swedish if I wanted to marry Marcus, I replied, ‘Mycket bra, ja ja’ and the guests in the church burst into laughter!
Dazzling decorations for the reception
I am a ‘girly girl’ who loves everything to come with unicorns, rainbows and sparkles, which is the total opposite of the simple Swedish style! It was very hard for me to find the decorations I wanted in Skellefteå, so I either had to make everything personally or order stuff online. The theme of our wedding was ‘Enchanted Forest’ mixed with ‘Fairytale’, which worked well with the location of the grand venue for our reception, Stiftsgården (https://stiftsgarden.se/en/). It was meant to be a summer wedding, but we made it work even though it was more of an enchanted frozen forest in December.
No such thing as a free (wedding) lunch
Where I’m from the wedding package includes all food and drink for all guests. I was used to the bride and groom and their families paying for everything! In Sweden it is not uncommon for the bride and groom to ask guests to pay for their own wedding meal instead of buying the couple a gift.
Do me a favour
Wedding favours are not a thing in Sweden, as I found out the hard way. Indeed, three quarters of the guests at our reception didn’t take their wedding favours. When I mentioned this to one of my Swedish friends, they said they didn’t realise they could take them home as they thought they were the venue’s! So I recommend telling your guests that the favours are theirs, otherwise you will be left with 60 shot glasses, a load of bottle openers, several boxes of chocolates, and a huge number of flip-flops (it’s best not to ask!).
Choose your own name
In Sweden many women keep their own last name and sometimes the man takes the woman’s last name, another nod to Sweden’s emphasis on gender equality. However, I wanted to stick to what I knew culturally and I took Marcus’s last name – but it is definitely cool that the option is there for females.
Photos! And lots of them!
You can never have enough photos and videos. Invest in a professional photographer, ask guests to take as many photos as they like, and live stream the big moments. Memories last a lifetime and capturing these moments is so important and special.
And finally…relax
We travelled north to Kiruna for our honeymoon and loved the Ice Hotel (icehotel.com) and then ventured into Finland and stayed at the Aurora Dome (theaurorazone.com/aurora-dome). We went dog sledding, reindeer riding, snowmobiling, Aurora hunting, ate reindeer and moose, and spent evenings in a sauna and hot tub while it was -25c.
What a once in a lifetime experience – especially for an Aussie!
TIPS FROM THE EXPERTS
